When returning to where it all started, you may face two different situations, depending on choices made. You may come back to face all the obstacles left behind without proper solve made or you may just have just a good reflection. What comes to my journey so far, I have had them both.

At first, there was excitement of being back, seeing all the familiar faces and the old corners, you know, at first everything is like seeing it through pink glasses. Then, the more time goes by, the pink in the glasses is starting to fade while the reality is hitting you with all the things that you need to face yet again.

ts funny how when returning to where you did start, you are literally also facing all the things that you left behind. The material and the non-material things. The more you feel hunted, the more there is things still to work with.

This is now basically the time when I’m looking into that mirror, not to mirroring myself, but really taking a good look what I see in it and what changes I’m able to spot. What things are now different, and where has the growth happen. We tend to focus on how we look, how we change outernly yet the biggest changes are still happening inside of us.

What hurts now, will hurt even after years, if we are not taking time to heal that part, correct the things that are misplaced and so on. We can run as long as we want, but as they say what you leave behind, is still waiting you there. And you are not able to evaluate as long as there is clutter to holding you down, and the biggest changes are made with small steps. And for me, one of the steps was getting back to weight training as the more shaky my muscles get, the clearer are the thoughts.

In middle of different stages in life, it is good to have the routines which will keep you on track, even on the phases where everything else is changing. The situations may vary, so it is a good thing to have few different ”outlets” to ease your mind, as you may never know, when you need to help a bit yourself to not lost the needed red string in middle of changes.

Because of the pandemic, I had to change my routines a lot, and I were also needed to face the things that I were running away from. Sometimes the things are not easy to really put your hand onto, so those aspects will also take more time to dig into. I really didn’t know what I was running away from, but I felt the need to go. And the need was so heavily on my heart that eventually I didn’t have any other choice than follow my heart and took the leap of fate. And now, years later and returning to my old hoods, I’m able to understand why. 

With the reflection on what has been and what I have gain for now, is also much easier to spot on where I did take the steps to go off track and which steps did lead to the lessons learned.

I have been now facing the things that were still unfinished and yet I have had the confirmation, that I have been on the right track all along – the choices made have been necessary, also for the learning but also for gaining more of the experience. The things that didn’t make any sense, are now the a-ha – moment that I were looking into before. Not all, but many of them, but as you solve the old phases, there is already arising many new ones. And thats the beauty of the life.