When I started to write this blog, i was thinking  to write down all the ups but also the downs of the journey of going after my dreams and life goals. Well, now its time for writing down one of the downs.

Sometimes life throws you in the deep end and screams that this is what it’s like this time, get on with it!

I’ve often talked to my friends about how there are four legs on the table, using this as a kind of metaphor. In my life, the four legs of the table represent health, home, family/relationship/friends and finances. One of these can wobble from time to time, but when more than one leg is out of place then you are not on very firm ground and the day-to-day running of the life literally limps and is more wobbly. 

At the beginning of the year, several legs started to wobble at the same time and I would be lying if said that my mind had put up with it willingly – especially as I was literally having only one proberly working leg while having problems with my other knee. For me, exercise has always been one of the cornerstones of my everyday life, in joys and sorrows. Sometimes the runs has been fueled by a fury, sometimes it has been accompanied by pure joy and happiness.

And now, with the body’s physical activity reduced to a minimum for a short period of time due to health problems, it seemed that dislocating the next leg of the table would destabilize the whole package so that literally life and living felt insane. It seemed that there was no point in anything, and that more problems were rising like mushrooms on the horizon after heavy rain on fall, even though I wasn’t even near to having a recover from the previous blow. 

So the beginning of the year didn’t start without pain, even though it was taking fast turns at the same time. So it was indeed appropriate to stop, both literally and figuratively. A pause, but also a mental deepening, because now I had literally sat down with myself, and with time.

An inward-looking, in-depth review was needed, and had in fact been waiting for a while for such a pause. Holistic pain may not sound pleasant, and it certainly wasn’t, but those personal grumblings that I didn’t have the time or capacity to deal with before had to be brought out, dealt with, so that they would be off the agenda and out of the way. 

Easy and nice? Hell no, the mind is creaking at the joints and not in a good way. At times it’s felt like the all the point of views are completely blocked all I was seeing was dead ends but very next moment it feels like the world is open again.

And this is where the remaining table legs, which are still in operation and serve as supporting pillars, come into the picture. They bring their own stability to an otherwise wobbly set, but also bring everything down to be more grounded. Your own mindset also plays its part, because if you are determined enough, you can move those famous mountains.



I have mentioned before that life is not just rainbows and unicorns, but that every aspect of life also comes with that silver lining.

I must admit that I have spent the last few months reading the current script of my life with interjections of ”what the hell” and ”why the hell” but I trust that like Sheldon in Big Bang Theory, I will be turning the next page of the script and be like ”OOOOOH, thats why!” 


But until then, I’m going with the flow while waiting for that moment where everything starts making more sense.