Its of course more or less sad when you need to give up on something and when the life gives you the curve balls which you haven’t been expecting, it can be frustrating but yet, after all the hardships, the life has been going on and in the end, everything has found its place. In a heavy grief process, I have been able to have totally new point of view, as the curve balls now seem to be much smaller than they were before as I have now new perspective to compare things with.

Whatever happens, happens- kind of mindset is actually really liberating, yet it doesn’t mean that I would be doing decisions and not thinking them through, but more like really adapting the fact that what is out of my hands, will not chance by worrying about it, I do what I can and the rest goes with its own weight, no matter of the subject or situation. 

But what you can do, is to sit with the things and really look what is affecting to you and why, and how you can cope  with the situations faced. Your feelings are valid, and they are telling you on their way what you can do now, directing you to new direction. Also the negative feelings do tell heir story, so pay attention to them too.  When facing the facts on what is affecting to you directly and what is affecting to you by your own feelings, then you are able to see the forest through the trees, which helps you to step further on your own growth. 

Feelings are always valid, and would be stupid just to push them aside – as I have done too few years back, so I know what I’m talking. They can either push us further or keep us still, depending on  how we do process them. Most common feeling that is keeping us from not taking the biggest leaps is fear, and that is the tricky one as it also comes ofter paired with the need of comfort. This is fatal combination,  as this combo will keep us in the comfort zone. Even if we are graving for the change, but yet, it is still so easy to just fall back on to the what feels familiar, as that serves us also the feeling of comfort. Even if the familiar aspect would be the toxic trait or so, but if we don’t know better, that is the best you know by so far.

Basically, few months back, I felt like I lost everything. Like there is no bottom or what so ever on my life anymore, I was trying to keep on pushing forward but at the same time, I were more or less on the autopilot mode. But  what is now different, is the fact that when I lost my anchor, I also were forced to emprace the change for redirecting my whole life but also adjusting even more my mindset. I feel still that im middle of change, like in middel of the eye of the tornado. Yet a bit scare, but im trusting the process. while protecting my peace, keeping myself grounded in winds of change.