Keeping all to yourself can be at the same time giving you the feeling of secure yet it also is really overwhelming. As I have been trying to figure out everything happened, yet trying to stay present for all the events happening, I’ve been really been paying attention onto the fact that I will let them feelings come as they are and when they have been arising. Instead of holding my tears back, I have been letting them come, I have been taking the time to sit with them, and then – letting them go. Not  more pushing them back, or thinking them to be irrelevant. 

No more over performing as I would be a machine. So long I have been going through all the hardships, just pushing the feelings aside and kept on going. Sometimes that might be a quick solution, but a in a long run, that had came a toxic trait of mine. And as it first helped my sensitive side to be protected while keeping me going, not letting myself to open has been more a burden than relief lately. 

To finally trusting the safety net on mine has also big been a big step, as I’ve gained more freedom by doing so. Being strong, independent woman  who makes even the mountains move is good thing, but when it costs your own health and strength, then you are already on a wrong path as there has been constantly going over your own limits.

The true strength lies on knowing your own limits, what you can do without it being too overwhelming in a long run. In life we need to compromise a lot, so even for just that reason, it is really important to know where is the breaking point, where to say ”no, thank you, put thats not serving me”.  

Basically that has been the theme of this month while settling down to new winds in life. Last two months  have been feeling I’m in middle of the hurricane, things kept on taking new shapes and forms, and when was much more quieter, I did understand at that time to appreciate it, instead of being anxious, that if I were feeling like nothing was happening, as I have been learning from previous events, its always calm before the storm. So, instead of being restless for nothing happening, I tried to enjoy the time in between, resting and catching my breath. And before I knew it, it was yet again so called game time – Time to hustle.

I remember when being a kid, I where so nervous when getting bored,  but in the end that time was always the most creative time cap, as I quickly figured what to do as my  creative side took over creating a bubble so strong that few hours later, my mom would be knocking the door yet again, after several attempts to catch my attention. Actually,  the days that started to be ”the most bering ones”, ended up to be the most productive.

One of the signs for myself is to take some time to be bored, like a day without any plans, is when the brain fog is starting to be more like a rule than an exception. The next step is to get back on the thins that fuel your creativity, eve if you feel off at the moment. In this aspect also, following your intuition never takes you to the wrong path. Back to old, good habits to recharge myself.