Sometimes there may appear the need to return to square one. Not to eliminate all the things accomplished, but to reflect onto where did you start and where are you now, to really restart your brain and the thinking process. Taking the time for myself and just taking distance for a while to everything that has been my everyday life. To really have a valid look on how far have I come from the start.

Taking some distance, also to get away for a while  from current athmosphere. You know, you tend to get so use to your surroundings, that you start to loose the appreciation for it? 

Basically I’m physically doing now the same, that you are able to do mentally wise with getting back to old memos. As we want to go forward, it is still important to be aware of your own evolution, as it is so easy to loose the sight of the reality on how much you have already been accomplishing, and how much more closer you are to your goals. You might be even more closer than you actually think that you are what comes to stepping onto next stage of your path.

It is also all about your mindset, and I now mean on with what perspective you are having towards the ”return”.

For myself, it is not stepping back and loosing all the work already done, like it did first feel like  – if Im being totally honest – and I have been struggling much with the thought to go back, even just to see my family and friends.  As we evolve, learn and grow with more years lived, we also do carry our past with the new experiences, which shapes our current reality. But how, that is about how you decide to see your life.

In away with the pandemic of course but also my mind kept me away from not returning, not even for a short visit. It was also the fear talking, that if I now go there  would I never return. The whole pandemic also did add its weight on all of the things, and I were not mentally prepared to go back to Finland. All in total it has been taking me years to go back just for a visit, but I  also take it as now I needed it –  I needed to do the work, also career wise, but also within myself. As the pandemic  really but everyone on hold, more and less, and we were on need to spent time more home and by ourselfs. I needed the time to really take a good look on all the changes arise, and working my way closer to my dreams while mingling with the constantly changing rules and stricktations. 

When you literally are on your own, without your safety net, starting your life in unfamiliar atmoshphere, you really are facing all the things that you do carry within – all the good, all the bad. 

Easy? Nope, but real growth never is. Necessary? Absolutely. All the struggles faced has been showing me what I really do need more in my life and also what I need to include less. 

Getting back to  where you started does not eliminate the progress done, but it will give more clearance on the things faced. It can be even the restart to your way off thinking. For me, it is like that now, and I feel like I need to do the change, from ”we will see” to ”I’m really doing it”. What I have been learning for so far has been the facts that the uncertainty, living with maybes and what if, well, that doesn’t work as doesn’t work either, if just choosing something that will not be long-lasting. Its making the commitment for the steadiness to be able to have shady ground to build on.

Sometimes you already know the answers that you were looking for before even returning to square one, but it is still good thing to actually do it, as it might still suprise you, as life turns the tables.  You have your opinions based on the past, but the reality that you are again facing might be serving you a totally new aspects.

At the moment, I’m in a crossroad, making the u-turn to return back to get what I did leave behind. It took me over 2years to get the clarity and understanding on what I need to do and why. But still, there was not option to skip this, as the clarification also needs to be faced, like putting it into action. Showing me the true colors of my life in this moment meanwhile Im able to see the growth in between where did I start and where has the life took me already.

When you feel like something needs to be done, it needs only make sense to yourself.