The waves reaching out my feet while walking on the shoreline. The feeling that gets me coming back again and again. Normally I keep on my headphones on while having my own soundrack playing on the backround, but with the ocean  its different.  While being on the beach, Im not in need  to have music, the sound of the waves is more than enough. Relaxing me, and with the night sky, its one of the best ways for me to unconnect. Just walking in beach, waves going back and worth around my feet.

For past few weeks I have had so many balls in the air the same time, that now it was time to hit the pause for a while. Take a little break, to get things on balance. Phone ringing and vibrating, different social media accounts demanding the attention while trying to keep at the same time social life and work schedules on point.

I was more out and about, even tho I really was in need for rest. Sometimes the stages of your life just keep on pushing you through the toughest times, pushing you to the limits. I would be lying if I would not been admitting that I hit and almost went over by my current limits. Was it nice? No, hell no. But now I got the very welcomed reminder on what to put up with and where goes the end of the limit of my own wellbeing. And again, everything showing me what really works for me and I should be keeping up with those things. 

Breathing out, breathing in. Noticing that with every step, my steps are getting lighter. And again lighter. I have my happy place, but its more like the mind set, not about the atmosphere. On the beach, its all good, but also when you are able get back on that mind set even if you are physically elsewhere, we’ll thats the power setting in there.

Taking on few minutes in your happy place, calming the mind. And slowly getting back on the things you were doing, or if even better, not doing any tasks after that.

I have been taking this time also for reflecting from where I came to here where I’m currently at.  I was so busy around my birthday, that I really didn’t have the time for doing that before, but I know that in a way, I needed that memory line. From living in Lahti, with all the memories from there to the first casps of wind of change when booking my first flight to Barcelona. And how that was becoming the first step of taking the action towards my dreams. After all, my first trip ever with airplane were also done solo, with the connection flights even added on the the plan. Because why do the first flights as straight ones, way more exciting like this, haha.

A bit more than year from that trip, I found myself staying few weeks at the time several times in France, near by Geneva. And  remembering also among all the things experienced, the thoughts from that time. The feelings, the lessons. The noticed patterns mine. And how every time getting back from the trips with more sense on who I am, deep inside. The taste of freedom.

Also, as the new experiences do shape you during the years, I also noticed the repetitive cycles. The ones that I was stumbling on again, and again and the ones that kept  taking me off from the right course. Also the ones, that kept me on track, but when theres more negative patterns present, the growth is not that simple or easy. It goes from the people around to the things that you have been thought by family and atmosphere. Relearning already learned, finding the value on your own thoughts. And accepting it, that time to time, you are not being understanded where you stand. But thats okey, as long that you know that you are truthfully to yourself, but also to others. 

Pausing my thoughts for a while, to enjoy the  clear, starry sky above. Taking again deep breath, while feeling how with every wave the spark of joy sparks a fire to the passion for keep one going. 

The ocean is has its beauty during the day light, but theres also something on the beauty of it by night also. How the rare rays of light flashes onto the waves  showing the deep colors of the sea. Enjoying every flash, every notice that I make. Liking the way Im able to reflect on to the things seen. My mind is having its ease.

Watching the nightly horizont brings back also all the times that I had my nightly walks in the beach when living in Zakynthos, and the ones after being on the total lockdown in here Spain. But also how I also where walking beside the lake side and looking into the horizon when still living in Finland, having the feeling that I’m doing right but I should be some where else. The ache in that feeling, how it was crushing my heart while getting stronger with every trip made to abroad. 

Pausing onto that feeling, how strong  it was by then. And now, the feel is totally different. My heart has been on peace since moving to South Europe. Im onto right direction.

Trusting that eventually, everything makes sense. Even the things that keep me still rising one of my eyebrows.

In the wind of change we always find our direction, and it getting back on track gets easier when starting to catch the balls from the air, one by one.