For last couple of years I have been eager to finally turn 30. Don’t ask me why, I cant give any valid answer for that question. I just have had the feeling that that milestone is making a difference – as I’m also stepping onto new decade.

For me, past decade has been more or less relearning basically everything, from behaving batterns to get to know who I really am, purely under neath of expectations from society and family, and trying to but everything on a line and adjusting those learned lessons to my daily tasks and living.

I didn’t like how the bricks on my base were arranged and builted on, so needed to renewing the settings, little by little. Using a building a house as on example here, basically the way all was coming together needed to  be re-arranged, I had the right building equipments and stuff to built, but putted together in wrong order. Its not been about magically becoming a new person, no. It has been more like getting rid off all the extra nonsense, the things that have been putting me dow, those things that don’t belong to my core, the things that aren’t me. Taking time for all those aha-moments and really making the effort to learn from every situation. If something didn’t work, why. If things worked out, I have been taking a note why so. What were the differences on those situations. Keeping the mind more curious, open and more bravely challenging myself. For way too long, I were hushing myself and taking notes from the people that didn’t understand my point of view, why I would or would not do something. Not always you know what really will be the best scenario, but trusting your intuition will keep you on track. Even on those bizarre situations, that you can find yourself into.

I feel like past 5 years really have been the ground breaking ones, bringing the most joy and happiness, gaining more knowledge, challenging myself more and learning from the mistakes made in past. Also as I have been learning, gosh the growing pains have also been present too. But has they been worth it? Absolutely, I woulnd’t change a thing.

Ripping things apart, letting go from oh-so-familiar patterns and stepping out from the comfort zone(s). Nice place to stay in, put nothing really grows there. You learn the most while doing, so you anyway win no matter of the actual outcome on that moment. Challenging yourself is the most rewarding thing to do, and past years I have been jumping out of my comfort zone – also literally, as I have been jumping from cliffs to the ocean, being scared as hell, but if ten year old boy with his dad is able to jump from that high cliff, so am I !

As Im constantly learning more and more of myself but also how the different types of enviroments works for me, I have been learning to take the time for myself when needed, letting my introvert side taking it place and learning from that aspect, taking the time to really get to know is it more like fomo or do i really want to partipicate on something. And also noticing how taking time for myself really have been boosting not just my energy levels but also giving more room for my creative side. When hushing the noice outside, the inner side has more freedom to be present. Really stopping time to time and returning to moments when I felt good on every aspect and rewinding also on my mind that way the lessons learned on that time period, as I don’t feel like to be in need to keep repeating the habits that will not took me anywhere – if they didn’t work for me then, they most likely will not work now either.

And for sure, I still have plenty of work to be done, as I have also gained more knowledge but it is better to have the slow, steady process going on also on this life aspect. Im not in hurry and trying to change myself, my core, its more like adjusting myself to be the best version I can be at the moment. And continuing on that path.

The thing is also that with the age I also feel like that at the moment as Im the best version of me that I have ever been, I have also learned to truly feel good on my own skin. The corona pandemic even took my put off my safe place, from the gym, not being able keep on familiar workout routines. At first, frustrating. But now, Im really happy about that, as I was challenging myself on that aspect too. In a way, I think that I was time to time using that as a escape, and more like literally running away from my problems on other areas on life. When I were younger, there were time periods that I felt that my workout routines were one of the few areas, that I really had control on. Now, when looking back, it is easier to recognize that, also as Im having a history of a decade of gym training, so I have plenty of experience to mirror onto. But it was a lesson in a way also, so Im happy to be able to be honest about it towards myself. Now Im still running (read; working out), but with different mindset. No escaping, more evolving.

As I were eager to step on to the new decade, it did not go as smoothly as I were planning, or more like, imaging. This whole last year especially has been one hell of the roller coaster, also because of the pandemic. In a way, I feel almost like life was throwing all the lessons left to learn before leaving the twenties on more and less at the same time. Not like there were so many of them, but I would say that they were the biggest ones, the ones that really did shake the boat, the ones I was still struggling with and making me really start to work on the things that still do slow me down. Making me really think through what do I really want, what are the things to work on, what still needs to be changed. Reflecting more and planning. The pressure has been and still is present but I’m not going to stop or giving up now, no. In the wind of change, you will find your direction.

As I have been making change for the better and really working on myself, there is no doubt that big thanks goes also to my loved ones, to their way to show the support when needed. And also, when I did not know that I were needing it. No one can make the change for yourself, but in the winds of change, it is comforting to know, that what ever happens, you have people around you, that will have your back – no matter what.

I surely made the last year ow twenties count, and Im so happy to be finally thirty – and looking for to see what the next decade has got for me.