Every step on the better version on yourself, or the next stage of your life demands a new version or mind set of yours. Some stages seems to be easy to move in, but some, oh boy, they are one hell of a struggle. It also can cause a sort of feels growing pains, like the ones that the ones that you had as a child, remember?

Now imagine the same pain but as in mental way. In a way you are forced to step out from the situations or the places you have been comforting yourself to be in. Situations like this doesn’t come out of the blue, you can feel everything escalating, the need for the change can be felt in the air. You may feel as being restless, unhappy or stressed, like pushed to the edge. As much as you still may like the way things are in on that moment, the scale is getting heavier on the side that possesses the things that are causing you feel discomfortness.

At the same time it can be sad, frustrading and stressful, it is giving up on something, that has been something that has been part of your daily life and now its changing.

I have been starting from the scratch so many times and in so many ways, that even though you would think that it is something that you get use to it. It may seems that I just make things happen, but reality is, that behind the moves, there is long way of thinking process behind. The changes I make are not random – even if it might seem to others like it. Even the quickest moves have the thinking process behind, and believe me when I say, there has been plenty of those plot twists. Preparing yourself for the setpacks helps you get yourself back on track when needed to.

Especially in mind wise, the struggle is real time to time – what is that thing or situations bringing to the table. Am I in the end, happy? The things is that your mind can try trick you out of the new upcoming changes and expreciences, romanticing your current surroundings, that they are not that bad after all. Even thought like two weeks ago you were so sure about that everything needs to be swiched, renewed and how the things now are not making you feel happy at all. I also do struggle with some of the changes, even if being the one to saying that it is the thing to do. My mind also tries to trick myself out of the new, making change to be more or less scary. Im noticing that im going through the same thinking process than before my first move on abroad. But this time I know that making bigger moves towards my dreams are nesessary thing to do.

Most of the time it might even feel like removing the goddamn patch off, hurting like hell, but you know that it is the thing to do, if you want to wound to be healed. I have been crying my eyes out on so many nights because of the decicion for leaving my dear pet, my best friend, behind and making the move to live abroad. Even tho this was definately the right thing for myself to do, it doesnt take away the fact that is hard time to time to live far away from your loved ones. Life is short, you know? But also for that reason, you have to live for yourself and make the changes for yourself. I know that my family is taking good care of my fluffy baby boy, but also on each other. And thank god for the video call possibility!

And sometimes the growing game is more like the muscle pain from training, not that pleasant either but hey you know that there is progress made, you can feel it.

Now a days i am not (that much) afraid of the change anymore, i know now better that it is the step for the better. Even if it doesnt feel like it on that exact moment. In one moment you are in the situation that everything around you is falling apart and you feel defeited and anxcious. Hitting a wall with full speed, everything that you had is now gone and all you have been left is tha goddamn glass on the floor, and if you are not carefull enough, you can get even more hurt.

For me, those moments are the ideal situations to made the biggest changes. If already evertyhing that i knew ”has been taked away” why to settle, when you can upgrade from now. This is the mark you have been waiting for, to make the move and go after what your heart desires. Thinking about to move on different city? Do it. Starting a new career bath? Why not. Choosing yourself and making sure that you are happy? Necessary.

Because for sure, im not the one letting the situation hold myself down, if i already raised the bar, I’m not lowering it from where it already is. Of course maybe temporarly you are in that situation that its not possible but still, when im having the goal on your mind, focus to achieving it. And if you again need to start freshly, why not do it as in terms to get closer to your dreams. Keeping the things that still work for you but for sure leaving behing everything that holds you down, being as a weight.

Some people are more better on that one that others, and for sure for long time I was the one who was not on that team, thinking that you can repair everything. But also learning during the progress that that is not the thing, not evertyhing can be fixed, and even if so, is it wise to do so. Would that thing or relationship still work in a long run bringing more that is taking? Sometimes, it is better for leave things as they are and move on.

When all the old has been shattered, there is only room for new, better.

Sometimes the ends can be painful in many way, but as every sunset brings a new dawn, changes can be start for something new and beautyful.